Beauty and the Beast
by notbang
Summary: [Beauty and the Beast seems to fit, but which applies to who? My beauty is in my darkness and yours is in the way you tame it...]


**** SEQ CHAPTER h r 1**Beauty and the Beast**

**Rating: **PG13

**Chronology:** Post-IotH.

**Genre:** Angst/Tragedy/Drama

**Disclaimer: **Are you the author? I am today. Except I'm only pretending...

**Notes:** Okay, this hasn't turned out anything like it was supposed to. Don't worry if it doesn't make sense to you because it doesn't really make sense to me, either. The ordering of it is a bit off, but I gave up on messing with it for fear of losing the concept that is only just visible in there as it is. Stick with it and trust me, it will come together in the end.

No matter what happened they had always been electric. Whether they were fighting or making love; sparks flew until they lost control, and losing control was what they were about.

_[When you and I come together it's two opposite polarities... they say when fire and ice collide you get steam...]_

It was funny, because control was a major issue to them. They were constantly struggling for power; over their environments, over each other, over themselves. They were nothing but puppets in the devil's theatre, and every day was a battle to prevent a tragedy. Rebellion against authority, against the Powers That Be, had stemmed from adventures and children and that, they both supposed, was one thing that would stay the same.__

_[Sydney called it a fairytale - do you remember those? If he's right, which one shall we be?]_

By day they were enemies. When the night came, nothing changed. It was the same old war on a different battleground. It had taken them a lifetime to realise it, but it wasn't about hate. It could never be about love, either - the Centre had made sure of that - but knowing that hate wasn't a part of it made it easier. Both were fighting for the same cause. The same bars that had separated them from the world and the lives they deserved.

It wasn't their fault that they'd been placed on opposite ends of the field.__

_[Make it Cinderella; for one day I can leave this all behind and for a few precious seconds I'm your princess, nothing else]_

Neither had decided which they preferred because there was an unspoken agreement not to think about it. They stuck with what they had for fear of losing everything. He knew there was a chance at more and she saw that there was a risk of being destroyed. Sometimes it was better to stay with what was familiar, because their greatest fears had always been the unknown.__

_[That doesn't seem to fit because I'm no innocent and you were never a Prince Charming]_

They didn't have to like each other. They needed each other and that need surpassed anything else. Their existence was singular, not plural - their fates hopelessly tangled and maybe that was why it could never be anything more than need. They were too much alike. __

_[Beauty and the Beast seems to fit, but which applies to who? My beauty is in my darkness and yours is in the way you tame it]_

Eyes were the gateway to the soul and they could never lie because they saw through it too easily; they understood too well because they were one and the same. __

_[I find solace in your kiss because for a moment I can feel your touch... our relationship has never been about anything but distance]_

When they made love he'd cry out her name. She'd capture his mouth with hers to mute the sound and he'd pretend he couldn't see the tears in her eyes. This would go on forever... and who were they to question it? Answers only created more questions, and they'd both had enough of that. It was easier to be blind than to watch their world and everything they'd ever known tumbling down around them.__

_[Some days we might go without fighting, but those are spent in silence because there's nothing left to say. Maybe angry words is all we have left]_

Arguing was the closest they'd got. Hurt and betrayal was more intimate than sex because it was what bound them together and it went deeper somehow, and it made sense because they didn't understand it. It would end in livid silence and deceitful tears but if they could make it through destroying each other they could withstand anything.Her harsh ridicule was a tender caress that he felt right inside his heart because as long as she was snarling at him, she was alive, and that meant he was too. __

_[Our story is nothing but a twisted tragedy]_

They'd tried. God, they'd tried. Alone they'd been incredible and together they should have moved mountains. But something went wrong. Divided, they could have survived. Survived... but it wasn't living. Together they'd lose it all but at least they'd have their piece of heaven. What they had was closer to hell but it was better than nothing. There was a difference between being alone and feeling lonely.__

_[Venom curls from our tongues and claws and all we ever do is hurt each other]_

It was clearer during the day. The darkness blurred the lines and it only made it harder when the morning eventually arrived. The game was always the same; he'd run and she'd chase. Though both would wonder if it were really so, or if it was perhaps the other way around.__

_[We only keep coming back because we can handle that; this pain is something we can stand]_

The Centre would never let it stop. Even if it was destroyed, there was too much water under the bridgethat would continue to tear them apart until it dragged them down with it anyway. __

_[Our hearts broke long ago and you can't destroy a person that never owned their soul]_

It was less frightening to be able to see it coming. They could stand and fight. They knew they'd lose but it wasn't about that; it was about knowing that they'd hadn't gone down hiding in the corner. That they weren't defeated on their knees. It was different because they didn't have to worry about each other. Whatever happened, would hit them both.

_[People forget that fairytales are fantasies]_

It hadn't always been that way. He had fed off hopes and dreams to survive; she had squelched them in a desperate attempt to do the same. As time went on, they'd gradually become aware that the only way to be free was to let go of them. Entirely.__

_[People forget about what happens to the ones that don't believe]_

Freedom wasn't fulfilment and it wasn't happiness. It was empty and hollow but it was addictive like a drug and it took a hold slowly and powerfully. He was lost in his mind and she was drowning in alcohol, but it would eventually be freedom that ruined them completely.__

_[People forget that angels are the first to fall]_

He called her Miss because it was just another barrier between them, and they had always been about distance. She only ever heard her real name at night because that was when she could hide and act like she hadn't heard. It was the only time he ever heard his because during the day she would be cruel, but she knew he wouldn't mind because arguing was what he liked the best. It was still about losing control but anger was unadulterated, and pure rage was easier to deal with than the messy jumble of emotions that surfaced when they kissed.__

_[Because you can only fall once you allow your feet (and heart) to leave the ground]_

It was strange, but they quickly discovered - freedom was all about barriers. It was just finding yourself on the other side of them. For a moment it may seem perfect but with time, you notice the new walls. A new battle would begin and no one would ever, ever reach nirvana. Happiness was nothing but a mirage.__

_[You close your eyes when you kiss me; I know it's because when you look at me you see the truth and maybe you still believe, just a little]_

On certain mornings, mostly in the winter, the sun would come up late. They like these days the best because they can keep their eyes closed a little longer. They know that what they've done is a mistake but it's too late to turn back and so they stay. When the first rays creep in, icy despite the illusion of warmth, he'll slip away. She'll deliberately linger longer and when she rises she puts on her mask and armour.__

_[I'll close mine too; we'll dream and for a few moments things will be perfect. Pretending has always been what we do best]_

Maybe he lets her find her. Maybe it's because he never really left. But she'll track him down. The Centre will watch and they believe that if there is really a God, he's laughing at them.__

_[We live out our lives in the shadows]_

Some nights, she breaks the routine. She asks a question. She asks him what they've both been thinking, but what neither have had the courage to ask.__

_[Hiding from the things we fear the most and one day we'll realise it was each other]_

Why? Why us? Why here, why now? Why at all?

_[You lie here beside me because we were inseparable, once. You could never leave but things have changed since then]_

He doesn't answer. He kisses her instead and she doesn't ask again because she'll close her eyes and give in. It's still about losing control but not in the same way. It's about never having any control over anything in the first place.__

_[The distance never mattered because we can be inches apart and still reaching]_

In another world, they could have been heroes. Not the tragic heroes that they were, but the kind of heroes that may have faded and been forgotten, and yet still lived on because they willed it that way. They were nowhere near old, but on the inside, they had been trapped for centuries. Their will didn't account for much anymore and maybe it never had, they just hadn't realised it then.__

_[You say things only end the way we let them; I'm ready to surrender because I can't fight anymore and as much as it scares me, I think you were wrong]_

Eventually she'll grow sick of the status quo; this happens occasionally. She'll turn away from his gentle administrations and he'll encourage it because of what it stands for.

_[Defiance]_

On these days, little seeds of hope begin to bloom. He'll make wonderful promises and she'll force herself to believe.__

_[We were supposed to be a fairytale. We'd get married and I'd wear your ring on my finger because that's the way it was meant to be]_

It never lasts, of course. But these welcome refusals to bow down completely keep them going on. They would have lost long ago otherwise. They know that they are only delaying the inevitable. They're just not ready to admit it yet. __

_[What we are is a twisted tragedy. We tried to rewrite our story and that's where we went wrong. Those who defy destiny get no happily ever after]_

It's her that realises it first. Her, whose heart had been crushed but whose eyes had always remained loyal to what was real. They'd thought it would be him to eventually figure it all out, but maybe that was their problem. Everything they'd ever thought to be true turned out to be a lie.__

_[Maybe we're neither. Maybe we're a fable and our lives are nothing but a reminder of what happens when you think you can change things]_

She finds him in San Francisco, and silently thanks him for leading her so far away from Blue Cove. She wonders for a moment if perhaps he knew, and it was a big possibility because she'd been contemplating it for days and he would have seen it in her eyes. __

_[When you and I come together it's two opposite polarities... they say when fire and ice collide you get steam...]_

Many people would describe their own final seconds as having slowed down. That their lives would flash before their eyes. Ironic it was for her that the one time in her tedious and torturous life she would have liked things to drag out a little longer, for the world to give them this one last moment, everything sped up.__

_[Maybe no one bothers to notice but it's still always a battle. Only one can win and all you end up with is a puddle or a pile of soggy ashes]_

She pulled the trigger without thinking, because she'd decided that thinking had been their undoing. He knew it was coming and he didn't try to move out of the way.__

_[We've never been about goodbye but things have changed]_

It wasn't an act of hate, or even love. It was about letting go, because he had been right about one thing. They may not have had a say in whether or not they met their end, but they did have a say in how.__

_[Nothing lasts forever]_

She made the choice for them. It was going to be on their own terms.__

_[People forget that angels are the first to fall]_

Because that way, the Centre hadn't won.__

Xx.:e-x-i-t-u-s:.xX

Reviews make me happy, even if you do only want to point out to me that this might only start to make sense after a couple of glasses of champagne :)


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